The George W. Bush Thread

[DarkenedSoul]

Okay, I'll start



Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told
Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's
face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands,
visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just
exactly how many is a brazillion?" ;D ;D ;D ;D

[King Rat]

LOL. Isn't it amazing that a man with such poor public speaking skills ever got to be president? Clinton smoozed the public, and still does, with probably the best public speaking skills on the market today. I wonder if voters were tired of "Slick" and wanted someone who fumbled his words because it made him appear more honest? Just a theory. But then we had Gore who is also a terrible speaker running as his opponent. Perhaps if Gore had been able to move more than one muscle at a time he would be our president. And what a horrible thought.................

[DarkenedSoul]

A plane is about to crash. There are 5 passengers on board but; only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger says: "I am Ronaldo, the best football player in the world. The football world needs me and I cannot die on my fans". He grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane.

The second passenger says: "I am the wife of the former president of the United States. I am the Senator of New York and have a good chance of becoming president of the United States in the future." She grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane.

The third passenger, President George W. Bush, says: "I am President of the United States. I have huge responsiblities. Plus I am the smartest president in the history of our country and can't shun responsibilites to my people by dying."

He grabs a pack and jumps off the plane.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger (a young school boy):
"I am old. I have lived a long life. As a good person and as a priest I should leave the last parachute to you; you have the rest of your life ahead of you."

To this the little boy says:

"Don't fret old man. There is a parachute for each of us! The smartest president of America took my school bag...."
;D ;D

[rutrow]

LOOOOLLL.

[DarkenedSoul]

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited
one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to
words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the
discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked
the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him,
that would be a 'tragedy'".
" No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children
drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the President "That's what we
would call a great loss."


The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Dubya
searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand .... In a
quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and Mrs Bush
was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that
would be a tragedy".
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Dubya. "That's right. And can you tell
me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly
wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a damm
accident either."