Post by DarkenedSoul on Dec 13, 2006 15:01:40 GMT -6
Subject: Letters to/from Santa
>
> > If Santa answered his mail honestly:
> >
> >
> > Deer Santa,
> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
> > I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
> >
> > Yer Friend, Billy
> >
> > Dear Billy,
> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare.
> > How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell?
> > I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > *****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
> > and joy in the world for everybody!
> > Love, Sarah
> >
> > Dear Sarah,
> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
> > mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> > Love, Teddy
> >
> > Dear Teddy,
> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
> > who rides his a$$ constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
> > Let me send you some Legos instead.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
> > drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> > Love, Francis
> >
> > Dear Francis,
> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
> > I'll set you up with a Barbie.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > Do you see us when we're sleeping,<BR>do you really know when we're awake,
> > like in the song?
> > Love, Jessica
> >
> > <BR!>Dear Jessica,
> > Are you really that gullible?
> > Good luck in whatever you do.
> > I'm skipping your house.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
> > could I have one?
> > Love, Timmy
> >
> > Dear Timmy,
> > That whiney begging sh!t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
> > work with me.
> > You're getting a sweater again.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dearest Santa,
> > We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
> > Love, Marky
> >
> > Dear Mark,
> > First stop callling yourself "Marky"
> > that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school.
> > I get inside your pad just like the boogey man does -- through your
> > bedroom window.
> >
> > Sweet dreams,
> > Santa
> >
;D ;D ;D
>
> > If Santa answered his mail honestly:
> >
> >
> > Deer Santa,
> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
> > I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
> >
> > Yer Friend, Billy
> >
> > Dear Billy,
> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare.
> > How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell?
> > I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> > *****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
> > and joy in the world for everybody!
> > Love, Sarah
> >
> > Dear Sarah,
> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
> > mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> > Love, Teddy
> >
> > Dear Teddy,
> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
> > who rides his a$$ constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
> > Let me send you some Legos instead.
> >
> > Santa
> >
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
> > drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> > Love, Francis
> >
> > Dear Francis,
> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
> > I'll set you up with a Barbie.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > Do you see us when we're sleeping,<BR>do you really know when we're awake,
> > like in the song?
> > Love, Jessica
> >
> > <BR!>Dear Jessica,
> > Are you really that gullible?
> > Good luck in whatever you do.
> > I'm skipping your house.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dear Santa,
> > I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
> > could I have one?
> > Love, Timmy
> >
> > Dear Timmy,
> > That whiney begging sh!t may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
> > work with me.
> > You're getting a sweater again.
> > Santa
> >
> > ****************************************************
> > Dearest Santa,
> > We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
> > Love, Marky
> >
> > Dear Mark,
> > First stop callling yourself "Marky"
> > that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school.
> > I get inside your pad just like the boogey man does -- through your
> > bedroom window.
> >
> > Sweet dreams,
> > Santa
> >
;D ;D ;D
