Southernisms

[MSNGWife]

SOUTHERNISMS

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Have a cup of coffee--it's already been 'saucered and blowed.'

She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.

It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.

My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.

He's as country as cornflakes

This is gooder'n grits.

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it

I'm 'bout as........ Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Busy as a moth in a mitten. Happy as a clam at high tide.

Advice for Northerners moving to the South:

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it shortly.

Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

REMEMBER: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

The first Southern _expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'", as in "big ol' truck", or "big ol' boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd.

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

[beastmanjack]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[littlefriend]

some of many from my favorite site:
usadeepsouth.ms11.net//southmouth.html

If a man is a flirt (or cute): "Well, ain't he just the tom-cat's kitten?"
--If you get strangled: "I swalla'd down my Sun'de (Sunday) throat."
--If a skirt is riding up or too short: "Law, pull that down--we kin see plumb to the Promised Land!"
--Or in the same line: "Wash down as far as Possible, wash up as far as Possible, then wash Possible." (referring to a sponge bath)
--When you are clumsy: "I swaney, Mama shoulda named me Grace"
--If someone is havin' a temper tantrum (hissy fit) unjustly : "Well, he's got the same britches to get glad in!"
--If someone was in a bad mood and Mama was tired of it: "Get your butt off your shoulders!"
--In conversation: "It's no skin off my nose if he wants to do that." (Meaning it does not matter to me or is none of our business.)
--If a particularly difficult or distasteful person is being discussed: "God love 'im ( or 'er) . . . somebody's gotta."

His Granny used to say, "Would you raise that winder down!
I'm freezin' my tail off!"

His Mama would say, "I'm fixin ta jerk a knot in your tail!"
And he would say, "How ya gonna jerk a knot in my tail?"
Mama smiled and replied, "Just come here and I'll show ya!"

On a cold day, we'd say, "Sheeew, its cold enough to hang meat in here!"

When we had not seen someone in a while, we'd say, "I aint seen you in a month of Sundays!"

On parting, you'd likely hear this: "I'll see you then, Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise."

When something is a doosey, we'd say, "Well, if that don't beat the band!"

And finally, when you're dizzy, say, "I'm dizzier (or drunker) than a bessy bug."

[NightOwl]

Those are some good ones! I've heard just about everyone of them.
But, do you know what the difference between a yankee and a D**n yankee is?
the yankee is from "up north'..the D**n yankee won't go back! ;D

just a little funnin' here. No use in anybody gettin' their nickers twisted. ;D ;D ;D

Well, slap me down and call me sam!

[beastmanjack]

HI Sam

[NightOwl]

beastmanjack said:

HI Sam

I just now saw this. ;D

[wretch]

In regards to someone with persistent ill manners, Mawmaw would usually say, "That boy weren't raised, he was jerked up."

[wretch]

No joke, when I lived in Haleyville, AL I worked with a woman named Fern who had 2 sisters named Violet and Rose. She always said that she was the wild weed and they were the bloomin' idiots. ;D

[granny2young]

now that is funny ;D

[wretch]

I don't know if it qualifies as a Southernism or a recipe but I just made a hoe-cake to go with my black-eyed peas and hominy. ;D

[mercyme]

That could go either place, wretch. You can go to Southern Recipes and tell us just how you went about making this "hoe cake" you made to go with them black eyed peas and hominy. This might be very intresting! mercyme!